also in this section Cartoon of the Day

It's A Dog's Life

so you might as well enjoy it

Lessons in Assertiveness

by Sparky, the Wonder Dog

edited by P.V. Alvarado

Lesson 28: Un-hip!

Dear Sparky,

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I dug my usual escape under the fence and was marking my trail when out of the blue my left hip gave out. I couldn't move an inch. I tried in vain to lift my leg, but it wouldn't move. I circled around the hydrant and tried the other side, but I couldn't put weight on my left leg to lift my right one. Sparky, I was only five minutes into my routine, and to make matters worse two of the best looking girls on the block watched in horror. I am thoroughly humiliated. How will I ever live this down? Is there a remedy? Can I be cured?

Liftless in Laughton

Dear Liftless,

Before I can give you any advice, I need to know your age. If you're older than ten human years, you're pushing your luck by digging under fences just for adventure. It sounds like a pulled muscle or a torn ligament, but I'm no vet. My advice is to stay inside the yard for two weeks to allow your leg time to heal. If by then you still can't mark off your territory, seek professional help. Surgery should be your last resort. Oh, and don't worry about the chicks. Once you're up and about, you can tell them it was a war wound. They'll eat that up. Let me know how it goes.

Sparky

Write to Sparky! His email is sparkytmutt@yahoo.com, and his web page is www.geocities.com/sparkytmutt.