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It's A Dog's Life

So you might as well enjoy it

Lessons in Assertiveness


by Sparky, the Wonder Dog

Edited by P.V. Alvarado



Lesson 32: Canine Vegetarian?

Dear Sparky,

I'll get straight to the point. Is it possible for dogs to be vegetarians? For the past few weeks I've been unable to eat my food, which I know is gourmet because of the cute little puppy on the can. But lately I've been getting these terrible stomach pains, and for some strange reason I’m attracted to the grass that grows along the sidewalk. It’s like I’m in a trance. The grass calls me. I have to eat it. But once I do, I get real sick and throw up. Then I feel much better. Then I eat again and have to run for the grass. What’s happening to me Sparky? Am I a freak or what?


Going Crazy for the Greens



Dear Going Green,

Don't despair. I'm no vet, but all you probably need is a change of diet. When you start eating grass, that's your body's way of saying "Hey, buddy, you've eaten something bad so let's get rid of it before it makes you really ill." Lay off the gourmet stuff for a while if you can. Of course, if you venture out and consume such delicacies as frogs, toads, lizards, or snakes, then you're in for real stomach trouble. No amount of grass can help you there because some of those fellows are downright poisonous. So stay away from them.

As for becoming a canine vegetarian, anything's possible, especially with the help of your master. But I wouldn’t worry about it. Just drink lots of water and exercise daily, and you should be feeling better soon. Take care of yourself.


Sparky

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