Dear Sparky,

I’ve had it with this guy who shares the yard with me! He’s an unmitigated bum! Since our master is an environmentalist, he provides us with our meals; but we have to fend for ourselves in the yard. Recently, we moved to this new locale, and I immediately found a spot near the house and dug my bed. Such a nice spot it is, too, Sparky. It’s under the eaves of the roof so it’s protected from the rain, and the wall of the house keeps it cool during the hottest part of the day.

Well, the other night this bum tried to get into bed with me! The nerve! I threw him out. If he had helped me dig, I might have been more receptive. What a jerk!

This morning I rolled a rock to keep him out. Why didn’t he dig his own bed? He’s got two fore paws. I don’t like feeling this way, Sparky. What can I do?

Bolstered in Bordertown

Dear Bolstered,

It’s obvious you don’t care much for your yard mate’s lazy habits, but you must have a soft spot for him. Not in your bed, of course, but in your heart. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel bad. How long have you known him? Was he like this before you moved? Did you tell him how you feel? Does he contribute in other ways, perhaps? Try to make him understand that cohabitation is a two-way street. Invite him to dig with you; don’t snap at him. Since humans arrange many of our domestic relationships for us, it would be beneficial for you both to get along. You don’t have to be a pushover, but if you get rid of the rock and move over, you’ll be better off. Be a good sport. Otherwise, the yard can be a very lonely place.

Good luck,

Sparky

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