Dear Sparky,

I'm a Federal Agent and have a trusted position at an international airport. My nose is worth its weight in gold. My job is to smell the luggage for anything unusual. Today began like normal. My boss and I headed out for the luggage carousel with me in the lead sniffing the ground carefully. When we arrived, the cases were already tumbling down and circling around Carousel 4 so I put my nose to the task sniffing each waiting passenger. Nothing seemed amiss until this little old lady crossed my path. Bells and whistles sounded in my head. Alert! Alert! So I did what I am trained to do. I grabbed her purse and began to pull, but she wouldn't let go. I pulled and growled, and she pulled harder and growled back! Then she began to strike me with her umbrella! I was so taken aback that I let go of the purse in stupefaction. She let loose a tirade of insults at my boss and me that are not permissible in polite society. We accompanied her to the office and had her open her purse to check out what she had stashed away. To my humiliation, all we found was a ham and cheese sandwich and a pickle from the flight. How was I to know? I could have sworn it was drugs. This is my first big mistake, Sparky. Now my boss is giving me funny looks, and I'm ashamed to walk the concourse. What went wrong? How will I ever live this down?

Snuffed in Seattle

Dear Snuffed,

Though canine noses are famed for their accuracy, we all make mistakes, some bigger than others; it depends on the nose. It was probably a cross-wind or something. No one can say that you shirked your duties or that you were lax on the job. You should feel proud that you erred on the side of righteousness and in the line of duty.

So relax and thanks for keeping the airways safe for travelers.

Sparky

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