Dear Dr. Mutt,

It is common knowledge that canines develop 7 times faster than humans, physically and intelligently. Therefore, by the time we have reached 12 months on the human scale, we are actually ready for school; when we are 60 months old, we are eligible to be President of the United States. And by this same calculation, we become senior citizens mighty quickly! So before you know it, you're an old dog, and if you are unprepared for the later years, life can be very miserable. But it doesn't have to be!

As a mature hound and founding member of the AARC (Allied Association of Retired Canines), let me tell you about a few of the benefits you'll receive as a member of the AARC:

Bark, our monthly newsletter, for canine news around the world.

Discounts on bones and biscuits in your local vet shops.

Group rate insurance with Sniffers Federal Union.

Invitation to our annual AARC Conference in Dogpatch, NV.

So don't take old age sitting down!

Join AARC today!

Retired in Reno

Dear Retired,

Thanks. Please send an application form. You forgot to include it in the envelope with the letter. However, I'll pass the information along for the benefit of all.

Sparky

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