fun

Dear Dr. Mutt,

This has to be a fast note so I'll get right to the point. I hide my writing tools under the mat by the door because the master doesn't know that I can read and write, and he probably wouldn't like it if he did.

What I want to know, Dr. Mutt, is WHY AM I CHAINED? I'm a smart dog, and I do my job. My big gripe, though, is that I'm on a ten-foot leash harnessed to the side of the garage. Granted I have a water bowl nearby, and the master does feed me a steak every day, but this is not living. I want my freedom. There are these two mutts, an old white one and a very young black one, who run by our house every day. They bark at me and invite me to chase them, but I can only go so far as the leash allows. It's just not fair! I'm a big dog! I need my exercise! What can I do?

Leashed in Los Ríos

Dear Leashed,

Humans are weird. For some strange reason they never recognize a good thing when they have it. They think that by chaining up a treasure they can keep it forever. They do not understand the old adage about flies, honey and vinegar, but let's get to the bottom of your problem. You need to make the best of a bad situation.

If it's physical exercise you seek, do some push-ups against the garage wall along with a few squats. If the master sees you at this, he may take compassion on you and invite you to walk with him.

But if it's canine company you seek, bark mildly at your mutt buddies and invite them to a tête à tête when they pass by. You may be surprised.

Life on a leash is bad, but being chained mentally is far worse.

Keep me posted (no pun intended).

Sparky

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