Fisher, Scarlet Letters

That's what our President is telling us, literally about the whole Camino Ecológico debacle and metaphorically with her regal way of imposing herself as our lawfully elected autocrat.

On matters pertaining to her way --- that's what we should all call that blasted road in Chiriqui --- I was delightfully astounded when I knew the real motives behind her staunch determination to build the damn thing. Yes, a high-level, Canal-related appointee of hers owns land in the vicinity but she can give a rat's tail. Apparently her favorite movie star, a balding yet timeless spy hunk who visited this politically forsaken corner of the tropics, is building a little villa up there. To the skeptical, this might all be straw-talk; I for one would march in their ranks if we were living in more rational circumstances, but with her on top, it's believable. Condemned for the past years to vegetate in her bad remake of what seems to be an old Sartre play, with President Moscoso the absurd is more than fact of life --- it's a way of living it.

And if we choose to disagree, she will point to --- that's right --- the highway.

But she's not alone. Her government is currently planning roads and road maps; perhaps one of their most publicized plans is the Free Trade Area of the Americas (ALCA) lobbying effort undertaken by our sparkling vice-chancellorette, Miss Roxanna Castrellón. She entertained us with her "marvelous" and obnoxiously quirky statements when asked about the ongoing plans to cook up international summits and related wastes of time. Now, she's eagerly pushing Panama as the hub of free trade and hemispherical development. Yeah, right --- her definition to make Panama more attractive to investors and to the dysfunctional continental family is to smack some lipstick and a few pounds of makeup on her face and propose a "wonderful" executive package (courtesy of the Panamanian taxpayer) that will consist of juicy exemptions and tax breaks for the visiting ALCAnians. It's depressing to see that for the home team life is increasingly expensive, while for foreign technocrats, it's going to be dreamy --- or like Miss Roxanna likes to say, "wonderful."

Miss ALCA, as some caringly dub her, wants to organize another pageant --- they all want to! Miss Mireya Moscoso fulfilled her dream with the whole Miss Universe debauching, Miss Ruby Moscoso had her way with the Pavarotti dissonant gala, and now, Miss Roxanna.

But as the whole Miss Universe sham showed everyone, it takes more than two to start a ludicrously expensive, government-sponsored spending spree.

And even worse, some people actually believe the spin! This sure brings a whole new meaning to "wagging the dog." The whole ALCA effort is even sponsored by a reputable Panamanian think tank, the Fundación Libertad. The sad part is that, while everyone else is in it for their vested interests and the political spoils, they actually seem to be on board for the principle of it!

These guys are so naive that it's cute -- smart, connected, no doubt about it, but innocent, or at least they appear to be. All they do is say "Free trade this," "free trade that." Give it a break for once! If a grandma gets sick, the market will cure her; if people are love-starved, the market will correct the problem --- it's like a religious cult high on peyote and faithful only to economic textbooks. Boring yet scary.

I would like to stress that peyote and economics make a bad mix --- that's why they still believe Panama has a chance.

Nonetheless, let's forgo for a moment all the bleeding hearts' dire predictions about the ensuing structural ALCAtastrophy after it's approved. High on hopes or chemicals --- who knows? --- Miss Castrellón and her friends think we still have a chance even when Jeb Bush, the Emperor's brother, is lobbying for Miami, flexing the mighty arm of his citric province. Even if he fouled up the Florida returns in the Gore-Bush rundown, he won't have any problem in winning the necessary votes to secure Miami as the ALCA's headquarters.

A few days ago I read the Japanese account of their lobbying efforts to butcher whales in ways that would make even Captain Ahab proud. A Japanese ambassador said in an interview with Australian media that he found nothing wrong in trading votes for foreign aid.

I don't mean to be pessimistic, but that's the way the G-8 handles diplomacy. Prince Jeb will get the votes. They came through in the past, so why not now? In the worst case scenario, he will trade the spot for campaign cash for his re-election, or for his brother's political war chest. That's why I think it's foolish for Panamanians to spend money in an effort to puff up Miss ALCA's overachieving resumé. And when all is said and done, don't be surprised if she comes a-beggin' for a bigger power trip.

Because it's all about power trips.

That's why rulers say "my way or the highway"; it's that adrenaline rush when in power that make Chávez, Bush, Castro, crazy old Korean Kim and many others the stubborn scourges of democracy. They all suffer from an acute and dangerously high excess of charisma, a disease that's bad for democracy everywhere.

And what's worse, they end up delusional. Poorly advised by a scared crew of acolytes, they end up thinking they are the ultimate solution, that they can single-handedly extirpate the roots of all evil with their bare, heroic hands. And since they consider themselves to be the Holy Grail, consequently problems are defined differently; instead of concrete, dialectic and multifaceted processes, problems have first and last names --- they can be rounded up, hushed, tortured and even killed with a single bullet. It doesn't get any cheaper or more efficient. Concentration camps, relocation centers, gulags, discrimination, human rights violations --- it's an endless list written throughout history that shows it's always easier to deal with problems when you single out people as scapegoats.

This happened to Noriega, and it's happening to Mireya. After all, it's all about driving her way or cruising that ever more gridlocked highway --- to Hell.

E. Arthur Fisher is a Panamanian writer and author of three books; his most recent work, "Diario en Verso," is a poetry collection. You can read his regular Scarlet Letters columns in The Panama News and his Spanish-language columns frequently appear in Panama's daily newspapers.

Also in this section:
US State Department, Human rights in Panama
Jackson, Ashura and Super Tuesday
Weisbrot, Call it a coup
Bernal, Impunity and modernity
Noriega, Doubts about CAFTA
ICFTU, Don't associate the Olympics with sweatshops
Fisher, Scarlet Letters

opinion

"My way... or the highway..."