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Sparky the Wonder Dog
Dufus Maximus?
 
It's a Dog's Life

So you might as well enjoy it
Lessons in Assertiveness
by Sparky, the Wonder Dog, a/k/a Dr. Sparkus T. Mutt
edited by P.V. Alvarado
Poodle Power
Dear Dr. Mutt,
I am a French Poodle, and my family heritage goes back to the Sun King himself. I am proud of this. But sometimes it is hard to be a poodle so I have prepared myself in the Art of War, and last weekend I was put to the test.
The mistress and I were strolling in the park minding our own business as we usually do. However, as we crossed Le Petit Pont, there was a pack of scruffy hounds milling about.
To protect the mistress, I barked that they should fear for their lives because my paws are weapons, and I only wear a top knot to fight better. But this only made things worse. They surrounded us and barked such obscenities at me that it frightened the mistress. To my everlasting shame, she whisked me up and carried me away. Their guffaws haunt me during every waking moment. I get so angry it's enough to uncurl my hair.
I am not a sissy, Dr. Mutt. And I really do have a black belt!
Irritated in Indianapolis
Dear Irritated,
Sometimes fate plays little tricks on us for our own good. There is no shame in walking away from an unfair fight. Let's face it. Even though you have a black belt and no doubt you would have fought courageously, you were outnumbered and your mistress probably knew this. She obviously loves you very much and cares about your well-being. Try to forget about the riff-raff. Enjoy yourself.
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