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It's a Dog's Life

So you might as well enjoy it

Lessons in Assertiveness

by Sparky, the Wonder Dog, a/k/a Dr. Sparkus T. Mutt
edited by P.V. Alvarado

Caninology

Dear Dr. Mutt,

I am a student of linguistics, and though I am not of your kind, I wish to learn all that I can to communicate with the canine world. Basically, I want to learn to speak to and understand dogs, so what can I do to fulfill my dreams? Is there some course I can take? I await your expert advice.

Tongue-tied in Toronto

Dear Tongue-tied,

Communication is the basis for world peace, and I commend you on your endeavor to understand and be understood. If I may be so presumptuous, there are at least three prestigious locations where you may pursue your endeavors: University of Barkley in California, M.U.T. in Massachusetts, and Muttgers in the great state of New Jersey. These places offer a Heinz variety of canine communication courses to suit all needs. But if travel and study is out of the question for you, may I suggest a total immersion in a dog’s life. Live the life of a dog. Be privy to our daily conversations and you will surely become an expert in all that is canine.

If you need a reference, let me know.

Sparky
sparkytmutt@yahoo.com
www.sparkytmutt.4t.com