It's a Dog's Life
So you might as well enjoy it
Lessons in Assertiveness
by Sparky, the Wonder Dog, a/k/a Dr.
Sparkus T. Mutt
Dear Dr. Mutt,
I lived on the streets for quite a while, subject to the whims of fortune. Often I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from, but a kindly human took me in and I thought my problems were over. Little did I know they were just beginning! The human picked up a puppy, and now I have to share. Not only that, the puppy thinks I’m a dog and bugs me all day long. If he keeps this up, I may have him for lunch!
Freaked out in Fresno
Though you don’t reveal your species, by your letter I take it you’re not a canine and not a human. If you’re a feline, I can understand your dismay at the new arrival. Though street dogs are quite astute at survival, puppies are not, and he’s probably so happy to have a home. Be patient with the little chap, and you will have a friend for life, guaranteed. Ah, the joys of puppy hood! One should be so blessed!