fun

A large donor, with no traceable roots to the Republican Party, is located to finance a new third party to be called the Resurrection Party. Announcers, actors and film crews are hired to create political campaign advertising on behalf of the Resurrection Party's candidate.

As the Resurrection Party's campaign is launched, Republican Party TV commercials extol Rudy Giuliani's toughness on crime and terrorism, while the Swift-boaters run attack ads supposedly showing grainy videos of a much younger Hillary Clinton having sex with Imelda Marcos.

Here's an advance copy of the first television spot being run by the Resurrection Party:

ANNOUNCER: This year -- America will meet its salvation.

[A darkened US flag becomes bright with light emanating from the heavens.]

ANNOUNCER: Jesus Christ is running for President.

[Traditional painting of Jesus Christ. Slowly zooming into his face.]

ANNOUNCER: There will be no need for vast government bureaucracies under HIS health plan.

[Jesus touches obese senior citizen in motorized scooter and she walks!] [Blind man throws away his dark glasses after Jesus rubs mud in his eyes.]

ANNOUNCER: Everyone will have enough to eat.

[Jesus hand out endless cans of Starkist Tuna and loaves of Wonderbread.]

ANNOUNCER: America and the world will be at peace....

[Osama bin Laden throws down his AK-47, joyfully stretching his arms to the sky-borne light.]

ANNOUNCER: ... with Jesus as its next President.

[Dissolve to Jesus, cleaned up in campaign-style business suit. Notice the scars on his hands as he works the beatific crowd]

ANNOUNCER: Vote for Jesus on November 4. Your Afterlife depends on it.

[Campaign photo of Jesus in suit looking sincerely into camera.]

Also in this section:
Sparky the Wonder Dog
Poets' corner

The Resurrection Party: a new political initiative