opinion

I’m Peter Pan

by Alex Kula

 

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!

Sir James Matthew Barrie, Peter Pan

You know when you’re younger and you always have the urge to just grow up quick and start living your life? That moment then passes and you get to the point where you realize that’s not what you want anymore. Well, maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. I do know one thing for certain, though: I’m definitely not ready to grow up just yet.

There are so many of my peers I know who are ready to leave everything they have for something unknown. But that’s one thing I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to do. I’ve grown up traveling all around the world, never having the stability of staying in one place for long. Now, I’m going on my third year in Panama, the longest time I’ve lived anywhere. Traveling a lot has opened my eyes to the wonders of the world, but Panama seems to be the one place where, once I leave, I’ll always want to come back. Panama has become my comfort zone, the place where I feel I can always come home to and be myself. Whenever I leave Panama, even to go to the United States, where I’m originally from, I get homesick because I miss it so much.

When my friends talk about wanting to move around and go to different places, it makes me want to stay in Panama even more. I want to stay in a place that has become familiar to me. I don’t like the idea of not knowing what lies ahead, or not knowing where I’m going or who I want to be. When I leave Panama, I feel uncertainty is going to be the only thing surrounding me. Most people I talk to about this think I want to stay in Panama so I can party and get an easy education. But here’s the thing: I know that even if I stay here, in Panama, things are bound to change. But at least here it won’t happen all at once. Here I’ll get the chance to adjust to life without my family, and then slowly adjust to the idea of being on my own.

I know a lot of my friends are ready for change, and prepared for the lives they have ahead of them. And I know that going off to college is just another step that everyone must take in their lives. But what if I don’t want to go that extra mile? What if I just want to stop where I am right now and savor the moment for all its worth? But here’s another thing, most people my age don’t have that option. So, right now, I want to stop while I’m ahead because I seem to be stuck in a happy space where I’m not ready to move on, at least not just yet.

Eventually the time will come when I have to come to terms with the fact that I will need to move on with my life. But, hopefully, I won’t have to do that anytime soon, because for once in a really long time, I’m glad with where I’m at.

Alexandra Kula is a senior at Balboa Academy