culture

It's a Dog's Life

So you might as well enjoy it

Lessons in Assertiveness

by Sparky, the Wonder Dog, a/k/a Dr. Sparkus T. Mutt

edited by P.V. Alvarado

A Fashion Statement

Dear Doctor Mutt,

I’m an odd little poodle, mainly because I am black. Some of my friends say that I am the antithesis of the traditional poodle, but I really don’t care about all that. I try to stay low-key mainly because there are some really tough types in the neighborhood.

My problem however stems from my mistress. She is totally weird. Today she dressed me in a doggie t-shirt and took me for a stroll around the neighborhood. Normally it’s 90 degrees in the shade around here, so you can guess the reaction of the toughs in the area. Oh, the teasing, the barking! Can I ever live it down?

Humiliated in Harrisburg

Dear Humiliated,

First, it gladdens my heart to see that you are not worried about being a colored poodle. You should be super proud of yourself, no matter what.

Now, to address the t-shirt problem, your mistress sounds like a twit. Why on earth would she want to add a layer of cloth to your naturally beautiful fur? And if it is 90 degrees in the shade, or higher probably, then you may succumb to heat exhaustion, so forget about the neighborhood bullies.